horses and wagons

Andy: Mommy, what year was I born?

Me: 2006.

Andy: What year were you born?

Me: 1979.

Andy: Wow. That was back in the old days.

definitions of nice

On a Friday morning, Ben was having trouble getting out of bed for school. I'd kissed him, stroked his hair, and shaken him gently. Nada.

Andy came in and decided to lend a hand. I left the room. When I returned, Andy was sitting on top of his little brother, belching in Ben's ear.

"Andy!" I said. "What are you doing?"

Andy replied, "I'm just trying to wake him up nicely."

seymour

Me, in the car: Looks like they have their clothes on at the Stifel Center drawing class now. The shades are up.

Andy: What do you mean?

Me: Sometimes they have drawing classes and the artists draw naked people. If they're naked we can see their muscles and bones a little better.

Andy: Oh.

Me: I wouldn't do it.

Andy: I'll go in. 'Cause I like butts n' stuff.

oh he's mean

Andy: Mommy, can you read to me up here on the top bunk?

Me: No, honey. Mommy has sore legs tonight from working out. You come down to the bottom bunk.

Andy: Yeah...you'll probably crush this thing anyhow.

chef ma

Andy: You know Mommy, if there were some kids who didn't have a mommy and daddy I might think about letting them have you.

[He paused for a moment.]

Andy: No, I changed my mind. I couldn't give you up.

Me: Thanks, honey. That's so sweet.

Andy: Yeah. Because I can't cook for myself.

helluva try, boy

Andy came down to see us after his bedtime tonight.

 Andy: My head doesn't feel good.

Us: Oh no! What's wrong with it? Does it hurt?

Andy: Yeah, it feels sort of funny.

Us: Honey, do you need some Tylenol?

Andy: It doesn't feel good.

Us: How, buddy?

Andy: Well, it feels...it just, it doesn't feel very sleepy.

Us: You're not getting your iPod in bed. Read a book. Goodnight.