tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3757815452858891552023-11-16T01:41:25.832-05:00Qwerty's BlogI need to record these things before they disappear.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.comBlogger363125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-40631488460607047572014-11-22T20:28:00.001-05:002014-11-22T20:28:25.319-05:0020 questions<p dir="ltr">20 questions<br>
Is it alive? No. <br>
Do we own one? Yes. <br>
Andy: is it a dead guinea pig? </p>
Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-80030538115928453132014-07-22T09:38:00.001-04:002014-07-22T09:38:20.377-04:00dark omens<div dir="ltr">
Andy: Can we just talk? <br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Me: OK what do you want to talk about? </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Andy: The awful happenings. </div>
Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-88384657139530636672014-07-22T09:37:00.001-04:002014-07-22T09:37:35.987-04:0045 seconds of my life I'll never get backBen: Andy, am I lying?<br /><br />
Andy: Yes.<br /><br />Ben: I'm not lying.<br />
<br />
Andy: Haha! You're lying. I know you are.<br />
<br />
Me: What is he lying about, Andy?<br /><br />Andy: He's lying. I know he is.<br />
<br />
Me: But he didn't say anything.<br />
<br />
Andy: Yes he did. He's lying.<br />
<br />
Me: Wait, what is he lying about?<br /><br />Andy: He said he wasn't lying and he's lying.<br />
<br />
Me: Andy, he didn't lie about anything. He didn't even say anything.<br />
<br />
Andy: Yes he did. He said he wasn't lying and he was.<br />
<br />
Me: But he didn't say anything!<br /><br />Andy: Yes, he did. He lied.<br />
<br />
Me, exasperated: Andy! You said, "Ben, are you lying?" And Ben said, "No". He didn't tell a lie. He just asked a question. There was nothing he said that he could lie about.<br />
<br />
Andy: Yes he did. He lied.<br />
<br />
Me: I don't understand what you two are talking about! This makes no sense!<br /><br />Andy: No no no, Mommy. You missed the first part of the conversation. You didn't hear when Ben said, "Am I lying?"<br />
<br />
Me: Yes I did! That makes no sense.<br />
<br />
Andy: Yes it does. He's lying, Mommy.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-36875715465496825622014-05-02T18:47:00.001-04:002014-05-02T18:47:15.186-04:00you don't say<p dir="ltr">Me and Micah saw this guy named Michael Jackson and he did this really cool thing called the moonwalk and it really looked like he was walking on the moon! </p>
Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-42585368414231761742014-04-17T20:01:00.002-04:002014-04-17T20:01:39.207-04:00cheeter cheeter<div>
I was stuffing almonds in my gob.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Andy: Mommy loves nuts. She's a giant squirrel.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-79783349392576335622013-10-08T09:11:00.000-04:002013-10-08T09:11:00.895-04:00horses and wagonsAndy: Mommy, what year was I born?<br /><br />
Me: 2006.<br />
<br />
Andy: What year were you born?<br />
<br />
Me: 1979.<br />
<br />
Andy: Wow. That was back in the old days.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-73302389829301559982013-09-30T08:57:00.002-04:002013-09-30T08:57:51.259-04:00definitions of niceOn a Friday morning, Ben was having trouble getting out of bed for school. I'd kissed him, stroked his hair, and shaken him gently. Nada.<br />
<br />
Andy came in and decided to lend a hand. I left the room. When I returned, Andy was sitting on top of his little brother, belching in Ben's ear.<br />
<br />
"Andy!" I said. "What are you doing?"<br /><br />Andy replied, "I'm just trying to wake him up nicely."Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-78146837668283529642013-02-12T20:26:00.001-05:002013-02-12T20:26:23.527-05:00seymourMe, in the car: Looks like they have their clothes on at the Stifel Center drawing class now. The shades are up.<br />
<br />
Andy: What do you mean?<br />
<br />
Me: Sometimes they have drawing classes and the artists draw naked people. If they're naked we can see their muscles and bones a little better.<br />
<br />
Andy: Oh.<br />
<br />
Me: I wouldn't do it.<br />
<br />
Andy: I'll go in. 'Cause I like butts n' stuff.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-63464360578750054462013-01-24T21:08:00.000-05:002013-01-24T21:08:15.978-05:00oh he's meanAndy: Mommy, can you read to me up here on the top bunk?<br /><br />Me: No, honey. Mommy has sore legs tonight from working out. You come down to the bottom bunk.<br />
<br />
Andy: Yeah...you'll probably crush this thing anyhow.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-56521891154613998822013-01-21T09:21:00.000-05:002013-01-21T09:21:02.698-05:00chef maAndy: You know Mommy, if there were some kids who didn't have a mommy and daddy I might think about letting them have you.<br />
<br />
[He paused for a moment.]<br />
<br />
Andy: No, I changed my mind. I couldn't give you up.<br />
<br />
Me: Thanks, honey. That's so sweet.<br />
<br />
Andy: Yeah. Because I can't cook for myself.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-17642554676199861202013-01-06T21:00:00.002-05:002013-01-06T21:00:34.667-05:00helluva try, boyAndy came down to see us after his bedtime tonight. <br />
<br />
Andy: My head doesn't feel good.<br />
<br />
Us: Oh no! What's wrong with it? Does it hurt?<br /><br />
Andy: Yeah, it feels sort of funny.<br />
<br />
Us: Honey, do you need some Tylenol?<br /><br />
Andy: It doesn't feel good.<br />
<br />
Us: How, buddy?<br /><br />
Andy: Well, it feels...it just, it doesn't feel very sleepy.<br />
<br />
Us: You're not getting your iPod in bed. Read a book. Goodnight.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-53937180138233030472012-10-09T17:49:00.001-04:002012-10-09T17:49:11.918-04:00daddyAndy: My daddy's my best buddy. If he had to go to jail I'd go to jail with him.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-81252345657909374052012-07-19T16:21:00.004-04:002012-07-19T16:21:44.739-04:00really?Me: Andy! Stop jumping on that chair! Haven't I asked you not to do that?<br /><br />Andy: No. Not since I heard it last time.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-23262900979630466282012-07-10T21:13:00.000-04:002012-07-10T21:13:34.907-04:00the stalling continues[Andy comes down the stairs when he is supposed to be in bed.]<br />
<br />
Andy: Hey guys? I'm sorry but I have two problems.<br />
<br />Me: What's wrong, Andy?<br /><br />Andy: Um, the first problem is...Mommy, I know you were trying to help me because I was hot but I'm sorry now I'm too cold. Can you turn my air conditioner down?<br /><br />Me: Yes. What's the second problem?<br /><br />Andy: I'm sorry but I'm still hungry.<br />
<br />
Me: You're hungry.<br />
<br />
Andy: Yes.<br />
<br />
Me: Do you want dessert?<br /><br />Andy: Yes.<br />
<br />
Me: Well, there are some Oreo cookies right there. You can have them.<br />
<br />
[He takes the box of cookies in his hands and inspects them.]<br />
<br />
Andy: Or maybe these could just be a snack and then I could have dessert afterwards.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-4539797020279095132012-05-22T19:29:00.000-04:002012-05-22T19:29:07.927-04:00bustedAndy: Mommy, are you eating a muffin in that picture?<br /><br />Me, deciding to be honest: No, I'm smoking a cigar in that photo. It was a long time ago.<br />
<br />
Andy, shocked: You're smoking?! [irritated sigh and disapproving look] Do I have to tell you this <i>every day</i>?Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-63151019580267621032012-05-17T09:08:00.001-04:002012-05-17T09:08:18.946-04:00stallingAward-winning stall job by my son tonight.<br />
<br /> Me: Andy, why are you down here and not in bed?<br /><br />
Andy: Well, uh.....uh......[idea hits and he runs with it]....It's just, you're in my heart and so is Daddy.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-85418797917464982012-04-27T15:51:00.005-04:002012-04-27T15:51:58.834-04:00art lessonToday we were watching an episode of "Little Einsteins". They feature an artist and a composer on each episode.<br />
<br />
When they announced the artist of the day, Andy said excitedly, "Hey! That's my name! Except I'm Andy Roberts and he's Andy Warthog."Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-32003032628135392922012-03-15T08:40:00.001-04:002012-03-15T08:40:31.559-04:00he may be right"Mommy, maybe Ben should go to juvie instead of preschool."Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-38724420692879942242012-02-28T19:27:00.003-05:002012-02-28T19:31:39.595-05:00preciselyAndy ran his car across the basement floor and crashed, despite my warnings. He fell and split his lip open and it bled pretty heavily.<br /><br />After the screaming and bleeding subsided, he came back to the basement and began to run his car again, at full speed.<br /><br />I mumbled, "Guess you didn't learn your lesson, did you?"<br /><br />He asked, "What lesson?"<br /><br />Exactly.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-33185861048641432192012-02-13T20:55:00.002-05:002012-02-13T20:57:35.404-05:00in tightsMe, to Ben: You're such a manly little man.<br /><br />Andy: Are you talking to me, Mommy?<br /><br />Me: No, honey. I'm talking to Ben.<br /><br />Andy: Am I a manly man?<br /><br />Me: Yes, you are both my manly little men.<br /><br />Andy: So...we're menly mens.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-55005475349004692042012-02-13T20:54:00.001-05:002012-02-13T20:55:23.142-05:00happy togetherAndy: I'm going to marry my own butt.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-91230618003937257052012-02-02T16:53:00.002-05:002012-02-02T16:53:36.925-05:00echoes of meAndy got into a verbal scuffle with an older kid today.<br /><br />He told me he said, "I don't think you should have your words all up in my grill!"Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-25188291074775977692012-01-27T14:54:00.002-05:002012-01-27T15:03:17.193-05:00attitude and weeAndy's best friend Wesley was here for the day to play with him. Andy was thrilled. So thrilled, in fact, that he couldn't tear himself away from Wesley to go take a pee. But of course I knew he had to pee because he was doing the pee pee dance.<br /><br />Me: Andy! Go pee!<br /><br />Andy: I don't want to.<br /><br />Me: Go pee!<br /><br />Andy: I'm not going to!<br /><br />Me: GO. PEE. NOW.<br /><br />Andy: Alright!<br /><br />He peed, but he was so unable to focus on the task at hand that he whizzed <span style="font-style: italic;">all over </span>the bathroom floor. I was not happy. I made him clean it up.<br /><br />Me: Andy, watch where you're peeing next time. That's disgusting.<br /><br />Andy, defiantly: Well I'm not ashamed. And it's not my job to clean up <span style="font-style:italic;">everything</span>.Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-57379899543099518832012-01-27T10:52:00.002-05:002012-01-27T10:52:49.184-05:00the apple didn't fall far"Why does Daddy talk so much? He talks for a long time and it waste-ez my time."Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-375781545285889155.post-28236136577122917112012-01-10T21:27:00.000-05:002012-01-10T21:28:01.313-05:00at the dentist"I wish I could eat my tongue and then bring it back up later."Laura Jackson Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05012618988509450838noreply@blogger.com0