just you wait

"Daddy, why are you so hairy?"

paint peeler

The first super-warm day of spring wasn't as great as we'd hoped, because Andy seemed to have it in for his little brother. Consequently, he spent more than a few minutes up in his room, often staring down at us in the backyard angrily from his window.

At bedtime, I went into his room to lower his shades. There on the floor below the window were hundreds of paint chips.

I said, "Andy! What did you do?"

He said matter-of-factly, "Oh yeah. I peeled a bunch of paint off the wall when I was in time out. It gave me something to do."

Obviously I wasn't happy, and told him as much, trying to emphasize how unacceptable this was.

He answered, in a very sensible tone, "Mommy, you don't have to look at it."

he speaks the truth

"Daddy, your car is really grody.

Look, there's sand on the floor. And leaves. And paper.

It's disgusting.

You really need to clean out your car."