told ya so

Remember the movie "The Rescuers"? It was about a little unloved orphan girl who gets kidnapped by some evil people who own mean alligators. And they force her to go down into a sea cave to look for a diamond every day. And eventually two little mice (voiced by Eva Gabor and Bob Newhart) come along and save her. We got the movie long ago, before we realized it was totally inappropriate for a 3 or 4-year-old. But of course Andy found out it was hiding in his DVD case, waiting to be watched. And so the bugging began.

Monday: "Can we watch The Rescuers, Mommy?"
"No. It's too scary for you."

Tuesday: "Can we watch The Rescuers, Mommy?"
"No. It'll scare you."

Wednesday: "Can we watch The Rescuers, Mommy?"
"No. It's going to upset you."

Thursday: "Can we watch The Rescuers, Mommy?"
"NO ANDY!"

Friday: "Can we watch The Rescuers, Mommy?"
"Fine! You can watch it tomorrow. But it's going to scare you!"
"No it won't!"

I manage to put him off for one more week until....

Today: "Can we watch The Rescuers, Mommy?"
"Yes. Fine."

I put in the dvd and hit play. The movie starts with a sad little girl singing a sad song and throwing a "rescue me" bottle with a note into the bayou. And a shot of the mean alligators.

12 seconds elapse.

Andy bursts into tears.

And it's over.

shawn created this

"Daddy, hang on while I get a book so I can smack you in the stomach!"

temper, temper

During one of today's self-pitying temper tantrums:

Andy: I'm a beautiful boy but nobody loves me!

it's true

I've had the baby, so our lives have changed quite a bit.

However, Andy's sense of humor (if you can call it that) has not changed.

We were sitting in the backyard this afternoon, Andy in the sandbox and I in a chair while baby Benjamin napped in his car seat. When he started to wake up I said, "Andy, I'm going to go feed Benji up on the porch so I can have some privacy."

He replied, "Okay Mommy. Nobody wants to see your boob."

how thoughtful

This morning while we were eating breakfast Andy and I were playing my iPod. When Lady Gaga came on, Andy asked, "What's this one about Mommy?"

I said, "This one is called Poker Face."

He went back to eating his cereal.

After a few minutes, when the final chorus of the song came on, he said, "Mommy, I would never poke your face."

i swear he is

Me: Andy, you are grumpy!

Andy: AAAARGH!!!!! NO! I REALLY ABSOLUTELY AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reality check

In the past few months we've employed all sorts of techniques to help Andy feel comfortable in the dark at bedtime. It's normal at this age for preschoolers to have nightmares and fears of the dark, so we've given him a bottle of "Monster Spray" that he can use to target any wild monsters that might appear in his room. Actually, he's been quick to tell me, the spray melts them on contact. We've had a good deal of success with Monster Spray in the evenings.

Of course where you have a little boy and a spray bottle of water, you have the potential for silliness and a bit of a soggy mess. The spraying of the monsters has rapidly de-evolved into a squirting game. Shawn gets into the act, too, and gets pretty goofy. There's a lot of hooting and hollering when all I want is for everybody to be calm and quiet and to get into bed.

Last night they got especially silly, and Shawn grabbed the Monster Spray bottle and squirted Andy. He was expecting Andy to grab the bottle back and retaliate.

Instead, Andy froze. Then he burst into tears of terror and shouted fearfully, "Oh no! Now I'm going to melt!"