on the road....or just a man?

Me: Hey Andy, we're stopping at this rest stop. Do you need to pee?

Andy: Yes! I've really gotta go! I've been holding my penis for hours!

oh, well in that case....

Andy: Mommy, can I swim in my pool?

Me: Are you really going to swim in it, Andy? Because it takes a while to inflate it and clean it out and fill it with water. It's a lot of work for me.

Andy: That's okay, Mommy. I don't mind.

wordy

On Thursday...

Andy: How did you sleep, Mommy?

Me: I slept exceedingly well, Andy.



On Friday...

Me: How did you sleep, Andy?

Andy: I slept ingrediently well, Mommy.

when shawn tried to play

Andy said, "No Daddy. I don't want to deal with you right now."

busted

Andy: Daddy, you need to go to school.

Shawn: I already went to school, buddy.

Andy: But you need to go back to school to learn how not to mow over Mommy's flowers.

jokey

Andy has a book that was mine as a kid. It's called "The Giggle Book". It's full of fairly inane knock-knock jokes and ridiculous puns. It almost pains me to read it because it's so dumb, but I remember loving it when I was young as much as he does now.

Thing is, he doesn't really "get" jokes. I have to explain each one, and he still doesn't really understand. The phrase "barking lot" doesn't mean anything to him, and he doesn't appreciate why a giraffe with a sore throat is so ironic.

For example:

Me: Knock, knock.

Andy: Who's there?

Me: Amos.

Andy: Amos who?

Me: Amos-quito just bit me.

Andy: Haha. That's funny.

Me: Yeah...do you get it?

Andy: Yeah. Haha.

(pause)

Andy: So, who's Amos?

*********************

After I explained Amos to him, he hit me with pun of his own.

Andy: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Andy: Chicken.

Me: Chicken who?

Andy: Chicken butt.

just you wait, part deux

Andy: Daddy, why are you so furry?

Shawn: It just happens, buddy.

Me: It happens when you grow up.

Andy: When I grow up I'm going to be furry. And I'm going to have an iPhone.