tmi

Shawn said, "Look, Laura. Ben's clenching his fists."

Andy interjected, "And I'm clenching my butt!"

understatement

I was watching "Castaway".

Halfway through, Andy said, "This guy's having a rough day."

when it's midnight on the....oh forget it

The other day Andy and I were having Andy-Mommy time, something that is severely lacking since Benjamin the Little Upstart, Ruiner of Fun and Parental Attention Thief came along. I've been trying hard lately to make certain Andy has some unadulterated one-on-one moments with me. So we played tag in the evening and caught lightning bugs. And then we laid in the grass and looked at the sky.

Andy: Let's talk, Mommy.

We talked about when he was a baby and I told him about a song my dad used to sing to me when I was a wee lass: "The Pony Man" by Gordon Lightfoot.

Andy: How does it go, Mommy?

Me: You want me to sing it?

Andy: Yes!

I started singing "The Pony Man", which has at least seven or eight stanzas. I'm not much of a singer, so it wasn't very good. But I did it because my kid was enthused.

However, by stanza two, Andy was restless.

By stanza three, Andy sighed.

At the start of stanza four, he interrupted me.

Andy: Um....Mommy?

Me: Yes, Andy?

Andy: Um....how long is this song gonna take?

the proudest mama

Me, picking up Andy from zoo camp: Andy, how was camp today?

Andy: Great! I didn't grab my crotch one time Mommy!

on the road....or just a man?

Me: Hey Andy, we're stopping at this rest stop. Do you need to pee?

Andy: Yes! I've really gotta go! I've been holding my penis for hours!

oh, well in that case....

Andy: Mommy, can I swim in my pool?

Me: Are you really going to swim in it, Andy? Because it takes a while to inflate it and clean it out and fill it with water. It's a lot of work for me.

Andy: That's okay, Mommy. I don't mind.

wordy

On Thursday...

Andy: How did you sleep, Mommy?

Me: I slept exceedingly well, Andy.



On Friday...

Me: How did you sleep, Andy?

Andy: I slept ingrediently well, Mommy.