theology lesson

Andy: So, in Heaven does God yell at you?

Me: No, honey.

Andy: Ever? He never yells at you even if you do something bad?

Me: No, Andy.

Andy: Wow, that's where I need to be. I can't wait for everybody to die!

thanks a heap

Me, trying on a brand new, rather short dress: How do I look, Andy?

Andy, smiling: Great! You look just like an old mommy!

i think he's confused

Yesterday we went to the Good Zoo with Uncle Davey and Aunt Sonya. The kids had fun, and Andy recognized some friends. Having spent three weeks in zoo camp over the summer, he became a camp counselor favorite and all of young, female zoo employees in the Education Department know him. And love him, because everybody loves Andy, it seems.

As we walked around, a group of them went by on a golf cart. They stopped to talk to and to hug Andy. About an hour later, we were down at the wetlands exhibit. Andy and Ben were running around when the same golf cart went by again. I heard a female chorus shout, "Hi, Andy!"

Andy stopped and waved and shouted back.

Me: Andy, were those your buddies again?

Andy: Yeah, those were my waitresses from zoo camp this summer.

am i?

Me: Hello, young one.

Andy: Hello, old one.

how about no?

Andy came into the bedroom the other night around 10pm. He already had a sneaky look in his eye.

Andy: Mommy, I'm scared.

Me: Of what?

Andy: I don't know.

At this point he launched into an explanation while simultaneously but not so surreptitiously crawling over Shawn and began to inch his way under the covers between us.

Andy: Can I sleep in here from now on?

Me: Honey, you have all of your stuff in your room. You have your hermit crabs and your monster spray and your stuffed manatees.

Andy: Well, I can move them all in here.

solicitation

Me: Andy, Ben's teeth really hurt and he's in a lot of pain. Can you be an extra sweet big brother and play with him so he doesn't think about his molars?

Andy: If I play with my brother are you gonna give me lots of money?

tmi

Shawn said, "Look, Laura. Ben's clenching his fists."

Andy interjected, "And I'm clenching my butt!"