am i?

Me: Hello, young one.

Andy: Hello, old one.

how about no?

Andy came into the bedroom the other night around 10pm. He already had a sneaky look in his eye.

Andy: Mommy, I'm scared.

Me: Of what?

Andy: I don't know.

At this point he launched into an explanation while simultaneously but not so surreptitiously crawling over Shawn and began to inch his way under the covers between us.

Andy: Can I sleep in here from now on?

Me: Honey, you have all of your stuff in your room. You have your hermit crabs and your monster spray and your stuffed manatees.

Andy: Well, I can move them all in here.

solicitation

Me: Andy, Ben's teeth really hurt and he's in a lot of pain. Can you be an extra sweet big brother and play with him so he doesn't think about his molars?

Andy: If I play with my brother are you gonna give me lots of money?

tmi

Shawn said, "Look, Laura. Ben's clenching his fists."

Andy interjected, "And I'm clenching my butt!"

understatement

I was watching "Castaway".

Halfway through, Andy said, "This guy's having a rough day."

when it's midnight on the....oh forget it

The other day Andy and I were having Andy-Mommy time, something that is severely lacking since Benjamin the Little Upstart, Ruiner of Fun and Parental Attention Thief came along. I've been trying hard lately to make certain Andy has some unadulterated one-on-one moments with me. So we played tag in the evening and caught lightning bugs. And then we laid in the grass and looked at the sky.

Andy: Let's talk, Mommy.

We talked about when he was a baby and I told him about a song my dad used to sing to me when I was a wee lass: "The Pony Man" by Gordon Lightfoot.

Andy: How does it go, Mommy?

Me: You want me to sing it?

Andy: Yes!

I started singing "The Pony Man", which has at least seven or eight stanzas. I'm not much of a singer, so it wasn't very good. But I did it because my kid was enthused.

However, by stanza two, Andy was restless.

By stanza three, Andy sighed.

At the start of stanza four, he interrupted me.

Andy: Um....Mommy?

Me: Yes, Andy?

Andy: Um....how long is this song gonna take?

the proudest mama

Me, picking up Andy from zoo camp: Andy, how was camp today?

Andy: Great! I didn't grab my crotch one time Mommy!