you don't say

Me and Micah saw this guy named Michael Jackson and he did this really cool thing called the moonwalk and it really looked like he was walking on the moon!

cheeter cheeter

I was stuffing almonds in my gob.

Andy: Mommy loves nuts. She's a giant squirrel.

horses and wagons

Andy: Mommy, what year was I born?

Me: 2006.

Andy: What year were you born?

Me: 1979.

Andy: Wow. That was back in the old days.

definitions of nice

On a Friday morning, Ben was having trouble getting out of bed for school. I'd kissed him, stroked his hair, and shaken him gently. Nada.

Andy came in and decided to lend a hand. I left the room. When I returned, Andy was sitting on top of his little brother, belching in Ben's ear.

"Andy!" I said. "What are you doing?"

Andy replied, "I'm just trying to wake him up nicely."

seymour

Me, in the car: Looks like they have their clothes on at the Stifel Center drawing class now. The shades are up.

Andy: What do you mean?

Me: Sometimes they have drawing classes and the artists draw naked people. If they're naked we can see their muscles and bones a little better.

Andy: Oh.

Me: I wouldn't do it.

Andy: I'll go in. 'Cause I like butts n' stuff.

oh he's mean

Andy: Mommy, can you read to me up here on the top bunk?

Me: No, honey. Mommy has sore legs tonight from working out. You come down to the bottom bunk.

Andy: Yeah...you'll probably crush this thing anyhow.

chef ma

Andy: You know Mommy, if there were some kids who didn't have a mommy and daddy I might think about letting them have you.

[He paused for a moment.]

Andy: No, I changed my mind. I couldn't give you up.

Me: Thanks, honey. That's so sweet.

Andy: Yeah. Because I can't cook for myself.