dark omens

Andy: Can we just talk?

Me: OK what do you want to talk about? 

Andy: The awful happenings.

45 seconds of my life I'll never get back

Ben: Andy, am I lying?

Andy: Yes.

Ben: I'm not lying.

Andy: Haha! You're lying. I know you are.

Me: What is he lying about, Andy?

Andy: He's lying. I know he is.

Me: But he didn't say anything.

Andy: Yes he did. He's lying.

Me: Wait, what is he lying about?

Andy: He said he wasn't lying and he's lying.

Me: Andy, he didn't lie about anything. He didn't even say anything.

Andy: Yes he did. He said he wasn't lying and he was.

Me: But he didn't say anything!

Andy: Yes, he did. He lied.

Me, exasperated: Andy! You said, "Ben, are you lying?" And Ben said, "No". He didn't tell a lie. He just asked a question. There was nothing he said that he could lie about.

Andy: Yes he did. He lied.

Me: I don't understand what you two are talking about! This makes no sense!

Andy: No no no, Mommy. You missed the first part of the conversation. You didn't hear when Ben said, "Am I lying?"

Me: Yes I did! That makes no sense.

Andy: Yes it does. He's lying, Mommy.